Brandini Artisan Toffee

I swear, these kids today. Did I tell you about my grandson? I go to see him in his school talent show, and I’m thinking he’ll sing a little song, or tell some jokes, or juggle, maybe. Or play the clarinet. He used to love to play the clarinet. But what does he do? He gets up there and embarrasses the whole family with one of these rapper songs about putting his, his, you know, private parts in a box! And he didn’t even sing, just moved his mouth along with the words! That’s talent these days?

I wish he could be more like that nice Brandon Weimer and Leah Post. I saw these kids on Martha Stewart. When they needed money for a class trip, they didn’t steal their great-aunt’s TV, the way my druggie grand-niece would. They mixed up a batch of sweet creamy butter, pure cane sugar, chocolate, and almonds into a toffee that’s to die for. Brandini’s Toffee, they call it. Isn’t that cute? I thought it was cute.

So they sold the toffee to their friends and family, and then this guy Don Callender comes along, he wants to help them with their recipe. He’s from those Marie Callender restaurants, you know? And then this fancy chocolate company comes along, this Guittard chocolate, and they want to put their chocolate in the toffee. Next thing you know, they’re winning all kinds of awards and stuff: the Winter Fancy Food Show, the Silver Sofi, the Gold Sofi. And the toffee’s in all these gourmet shops and everything. And they’re still kids! Still in high school! My granddaughter was already dancing in that striptease show at their age.

So I bought a bunch of this Brandini Toffee for the gift exchange at the VFW Ladies’ Auxiliary. I had a little piece just to see how it was, and I have to tell you, I went through a half-pound can before I knew it. Then I thought, well, I’ll just take a little from the pound box – it’s so big, I thought nobody would notice. Well, I ate that too. Then my other grandson came over to prune my shrubs, and I gave him some ice cream with the toffee topper sprinkled on. He leaves, and later, I can’t find the toffee topper tin. Or my credit cards.

I bet that never happens to Brandon Weimer’s and Leah Post’s grandmas.

Ingredients:

• Sweet creamy butter
• Pure cane sugar
• Chocolate
• Almonds